My New Blog

Hey there guys, I made a new blog, and it is going to be the one I update from now on. I think I'm going to leave this one be. So if you want to add me, then great. If not, then fuck you too.

questionsofsanity.blogspot.com

A new Blog for a new me.

Just another cruel illusion?

I think not. Maybe it's the hope which still lives on within me, even after being corroded away. Maybe it's the anxiousness to return to the place of my happiness. I don't know what it is, I admit it. But it feels like this crisis is coming to a close. The problem is, how do I know this time is real?

Simple. I don't. But this is different. Way different. This must be it. After 9 months of captivity and repeated attempts to escape to my place of happiness, can this really be what I have sought after for so long?

Where, oh where is my shock? Where is my happiness? The truth is, I feel numb. I'm tired of this. I'm tired of raising my hopes, and raising everyone else's hopes. I know that I've hurt many people, but it wasn't exactly easy on my side either. I feel responsible for your pain. I am responsible for your pain. But how do I get you to understand?

Now, all I can do is pick up the pieces, and make the most of what I have, after this ordeal. I admit that this crisis has left me scarred, but I must also say that I have matured beyond what I was capable of, while living in the place of my comfort and security. I was extracted and just dropped off into a place beyond my understanding. A place with an alien culture, a different atmosphere, a separate mentality... I am traumatized, but I simply lack the words to describe my pain.

I want it all back. I really did have it all. No matter how much I whined and bitched, I had it all. I was lucky, too. The problems of my past seem so insignificant compared to now. No matter. We all make mistakes, don't we? And I am just a person. I took everything for granted. That was/is my crime.





**NOT your fault!! :p

I wish there was a button. Not just any button. A special button. A unique button. Unique, but plain looking. Everyone would have one of these special buttons. This button would be unique to everyone. But what would this button do? Upon the pressing of this button, the person would instantly disapear into oblivion, never to exist, never to have existed. I wish I had such a button.

Too bad the only thing in reality that is close to such a button is the trigger of a pistol.

Almost there, just a little bit further...

I do not have enough funds these days to be able to spend a lot of time online at net cafe's... but i assure you that i will update my blog very soon with very important details. :D