Whenever I look up at the night sky, I always try to find the brightest star. The problem is, sometimes it gets very difficult to distinguish between the stars with reference to their brightness. Still, the fact remains that it is the brightest star in the night sky I search for and I think that is what is important.
Where are you now?
Wednesday, January 16, 2013
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Thursday, August 25, 2011
Things change. This is a reality we accept every single day, except on a micro scale. What happens when things change on a macro scale? We start to take notice. We become scared and instantly turn to our source of comfort, our protection, our "gods", our respective dogmas, etc. It's about time we put all this aside and embraced change. Personally, I'm no advocate for change because it scares me, but I'm not afraid to admit that it is change which truly brings progress and demise, rise and downfall. I'm wiling to gamble for my future.. to "bet" on change, so to speak.
Enough about that, though. The reason I'm finally returning to Blogspot is because Tumblr, the site I originally left Blogspot for, has changed quite a bit since I last remember. I've found that I am typically a more open person when it comes to socializing with smaller amounts of people. Tumblr certainly has its pros and cons, but for this stage in life I'd much rather choose Blogspot.
That being said, you may or may not be aware that I currently have possession of two separate Blogspot accounts; I plan on continuing with this account, for reasons unclear to me. If you are following my blog on this account and are reading these words as we speak, please leave me a comment. I like to know my audience :)
Enough about that, though. The reason I'm finally returning to Blogspot is because Tumblr, the site I originally left Blogspot for, has changed quite a bit since I last remember. I've found that I am typically a more open person when it comes to socializing with smaller amounts of people. Tumblr certainly has its pros and cons, but for this stage in life I'd much rather choose Blogspot.
That being said, you may or may not be aware that I currently have possession of two separate Blogspot accounts; I plan on continuing with this account, for reasons unclear to me. If you are following my blog on this account and are reading these words as we speak, please leave me a comment. I like to know my audience :)
Sunday, March 21, 2010
My New Blog
Hey there guys, I made a new blog, and it is going to be the one I update from now on. I think I'm going to leave this one be. So if you want to add me, then great. If not, then fuck you too.
questionsofsanity.blogspot.com
A new Blog for a new me.
questionsofsanity.blogspot.com
A new Blog for a new me.
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Just another cruel illusion?
I think not. Maybe it's the hope which still lives on within me, even after being corroded away. Maybe it's the anxiousness to return to the place of my happiness. I don't know what it is, I admit it. But it feels like this crisis is coming to a close. The problem is, how do I know this time is real?
Simple. I don't. But this is different. Way different. This must be it. After 9 months of captivity and repeated attempts to escape to my place of happiness, can this really be what I have sought after for so long?
Where, oh where is my shock? Where is my happiness? The truth is, I feel numb. I'm tired of this. I'm tired of raising my hopes, and raising everyone else's hopes. I know that I've hurt many people, but it wasn't exactly easy on my side either. I feel responsible for your pain. I am responsible for your pain. But how do I get you to understand?
Now, all I can do is pick up the pieces, and make the most of what I have, after this ordeal. I admit that this crisis has left me scarred, but I must also say that I have matured beyond what I was capable of, while living in the place of my comfort and security. I was extracted and just dropped off into a place beyond my understanding. A place with an alien culture, a different atmosphere, a separate mentality... I am traumatized, but I simply lack the words to describe my pain.
I want it all back. I really did have it all. No matter how much I whined and bitched, I had it all. I was lucky, too. The problems of my past seem so insignificant compared to now. No matter. We all make mistakes, don't we? And I am just a person. I took everything for granted. That was/is my crime.
**NOT your fault!! :p
Simple. I don't. But this is different. Way different. This must be it. After 9 months of captivity and repeated attempts to escape to my place of happiness, can this really be what I have sought after for so long?
Where, oh where is my shock? Where is my happiness? The truth is, I feel numb. I'm tired of this. I'm tired of raising my hopes, and raising everyone else's hopes. I know that I've hurt many people, but it wasn't exactly easy on my side either. I feel responsible for your pain. I am responsible for your pain. But how do I get you to understand?
Now, all I can do is pick up the pieces, and make the most of what I have, after this ordeal. I admit that this crisis has left me scarred, but I must also say that I have matured beyond what I was capable of, while living in the place of my comfort and security. I was extracted and just dropped off into a place beyond my understanding. A place with an alien culture, a different atmosphere, a separate mentality... I am traumatized, but I simply lack the words to describe my pain.
I want it all back. I really did have it all. No matter how much I whined and bitched, I had it all. I was lucky, too. The problems of my past seem so insignificant compared to now. No matter. We all make mistakes, don't we? And I am just a person. I took everything for granted. That was/is my crime.
**NOT your fault!! :p
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
I wish there was a button. Not just any button. A special button. A unique button. Unique, but plain looking. Everyone would have one of these special buttons. This button would be unique to everyone. But what would this button do? Upon the pressing of this button, the person would instantly disapear into oblivion, never to exist, never to have existed. I wish I had such a button.
Too bad the only thing in reality that is close to such a button is the trigger of a pistol.
Too bad the only thing in reality that is close to such a button is the trigger of a pistol.
Friday, March 5, 2010
Almost there, just a little bit further...
I do not have enough funds these days to be able to spend a lot of time online at net cafe's... but i assure you that i will update my blog very soon with very important details. :D
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